And the topics are..

I have some advice:
1. Don't hook up with one girl and a week later expect her best friend to be down with you. (Ahem. Sonic)

2. Don't talk about how awesome your opposite sex flatmate is and then wrap me in the blanket she made you and try to smoosh. (Ahem. Start Up)(HEEEY JEWSEY SHOWAH!)

3. Don't throw a hissy fit when THREE girls are trying to get you to join them at Mardi Gras. (Note: I said, "Dude, do you realize how many boobs you will see on this trip?" He replied, "I don't care about boobs." Is this foo pumpin Ken dollz?)

4. (Applies to #3) Also, don't ask one of the girls why she isn't inviting your flatmate. (The flatmate (Start Up) who tried to smoosh me in the gift blanket.)

5. Don't be excited that I'm coming to your state and then get all smug when I mention I'm coming for Mardi Gras. Apparently, GQ is too good for Mardi Gras.

6. Don't get sass with me and try to tell me you're more stubborn than I am. I WILL keep my word and not talk to you. (Ahem. Lawya) *We currently not speaking AND we are not Facebook friends. Ouch. I'm harsh.

And now for some SchwartzMANIA trivia:
1. Jason Schwartzman was in Phantom Planet. Who the hell remembers that? I sure didn't.
NOTEEEE: My cat threw up chunks right after I typed that. So great my comforter was cleaned last week.
2. My new Twitter/FB crush looks like Robert Schwartzman with GREEN eyes. Heck yes. (I added him on Twitter and he dm'd me for my last name so he could add me on Facebook. Oh, the wonders of social media.)
3. Ke$ha totally got her "brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack" idea from Robert Schwartzman.

Please see below for proof (2:39 mark): 

Phantom Planet "California"